


Sugary Sweet

by howellesterfics



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dan's weird dentist kink, Dentistry, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pain, Weird flirting, author!dan, dentist!phil, i love tagging its so funny, non-youtuber, scrape me daddy vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howellesterfics/pseuds/howellesterfics
Summary: Dan has a cavity and mild masochistic tendencies; it's an unfortunate combination for his new dentist, Dr. Lester.(or, the one where i try to overcome my dental anxiety by projecting onto d&p)
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	Sugary Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> i have no shame because this is what dan would want

Dan’s teeth are hurting. 

Well, one tooth in particular. It’s been a right pain in his arse ever since last weekend when he had a disgustingly sticky caramel treat from his nana. She meant well, had passed it over to him during a lull in conversation where his mum had gone all awkward and quiet. A peace offering in the wake of his post-coming out reality. 

But now he’s sat in the dentist’s office surrounded by older people and insufferably loud children. He’s well into a Twitter argument rabbit hole when his name is called, and he jumps out of his seat with a grin before the nosey kid next to him could do something terrible like ask to play games on his phone. 

The dental assistant leads him back to a room and asks him all the basic questions. She looks like she’d rather be anywhere else, but she’s nice enough. She changes the little television in the room to some true crime show before saying something about a five-minute wait. Dan can handle five more minutes of agony, he supposes. 

He tries to think about something other than his tooth by pulling out his phone once again. The gruesome murder being described in detail on the telly isn’t really doing it for him. Instead, he scrolls through Instagram with the hopes that no one is walking past and taking in an interest in his screen; he swears he only follows so many Olympic divers for the sport. He’s really into… backflips. Tom Daley is simply an inspirational athlete, nothing more. 

Despite his totally logical explanation for the feed abundant with topless men, he quickly turns his screen off when he hears footsteps approaching. Being laid back in this chair like some sort of twisted vivisection patient means he gets his first glance at his dentist upside down. Even from this view, though, he can see that it’s definitely not Dr. Lloyd. It’s someone much younger, with artificially black hair and a birdlike nose that Dan is getting a worm’s-eye view of. 

He shakes the mental picture out of his head. 

“Hello,” the man says. 

He looks down at Dan with a smile, all bright white teeth and perfect pink lips. He’s not that bad looking, even after Dan scrolled past literal male models on his phone minutes ago. There’s something charming about his presence; a good bedside manner that shines through after a simple greeting. 

“Hi.” 

“Daniel, right?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met before. You’re not one of my regulars, are you?” 

“No, no. I usually see Dr. Lloyd. Must have been a mix up.” 

The dentist smiles and shakes his head, sliding his pale hands into a pair of blue gloves. The second one snaps against his wrist a little, and despite Dan’s better judgement, it sends his pulse racing. 

“Oh, no. Old man is on a bit of a forced vacation. He’s a workaholic, and his wife is poorly, so we made him stay home a few days.” 

“Hm, that’s shit. Sorry, I just mean that it sucks. About his wife.” 

“Yeah, it is a bit shit,” the dentist laughs. 

His tongue gets caught between his teeth as he giggles, and it takes away the embarrassment of being laughed at. Dan is still smiling at it when one of those awful papery blue bibs is being laid against his chest. It’s a stark reminder that he’s probably going to be drooling all over this guy’s hand soon, and not in a fun way. 

“So, cavity? Too many sweets?” 

“Something like that. It hurts like hell, though.” 

“We’ll fix you up, don’t worry.”

Approximately fifteen minutes later, Dan now suspects that he has a serious mental issue. He’s had a numbing shot in his gums, rubbery fingers and sharp pieces of metal poking and prodding all about his mouth, and he’s still just thirsting over his dentist like a proper weirdo. He managed to read his nametag from upside down – Dr. Philip Lester. Being on a first name basis with the man doesn’t stifle the embarrassment he feels when he doesn’t know where to rest his tongue and has to keep moving it out of the way. 

Once he’s properly numbed up, Dr. Lester has his assistant come back while he fills the small cavity in Dan’s tooth. Dan braces himself for pain when he hears the motor of the drill, and he holds his breath until it makes contact with his tooth. It’s a dull pain, bearable, but he decides that he needs to distract himself by looking at Dr. Lester’s face. There’s a furrowed brow of concentration and his bright blue eyes are all squinted and wrinkled in the corners. 

The assistant keeps suctioning the moisture out of his mouth, so he doesn’t have to worry about dribbling like an idiot. The real worry is that he kind of… likes what’s happening. 

Enjoying pain in certain settings isn’t new to him, but this is a new low. Every time a sore spot in his tooth is hit, his breath hitches. His saving grace is that it looks like plain discomfort to an outsider. All good things must come to an end, though. Eventually the assistant leaves the room again and Dr. Lester grabs a small mirror from his tray. 

“Open wide,” he says. 

Dan does as he says. 

“Oh, wow. You’re such an easy patient. Most people can’t open that wide.” 

Dan absolutely cannot help it; he tries to stifle his laughter, but it comes out as a half-wheeze, half-dying dog sort of noise. It would be mortifying if Dr. Lester didn’t also have to hide his face in the crook of his elbow to try to hide his giggles. 

“You’re actually the worst patient, I just decided.” 

“That’s fair,” Dan says. 

He feels a bit loopy, and there hadn’t been any laughing gas to his knowledge. He brushes a stray curl out of his eyes and stares up at the dentist – such a strange man, but so enticing all the same. Dan has a brief moral panic while he weighs up the cost of asking out a guy who just patched up a hole in your tooth. Surely there’s no rules against it. 

“I feel like I can’t open my mouth now without laughing.” 

“I believe in you,” Dr. Lester says. 

He’s hovering over Dan again with the little mirror and his eyes are shining like he’s holding back a joke. Dan takes a steadying breath and opens his mouth, staring resolutely at the ceiling. Lester takes a little look around and hums as if he’s pleased with his work, tapping his mirror against one of Dan’s molars. 

“Dr. Llyod seems to be keeping you in good shape. We don’t have to tell him about your little sweets incident.” 

“I can’t let my reputation be tarnished, you know. Lloyd sent me a Christmas card last year, I think it was getting real.” 

“I ship it.” 

“I refuse to believe you’re actually a dentist, you’re so-“ 

“So what? Cool? Hip? Lit, is that what the kids say?” 

Dan sits up and swings his legs over the side of the chair, trying hard to keep his eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t ruin it.” 

“You wound me, Daniel, I spent five years in dental school. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with memes alongside that? Be grateful I’m not Susan, the kid’s dentist. She gives out grumpy cat stickers.” 

“I’m not a kid, I’m twenty-nine.” 

That seems to catch Dr. Lester off guard, his eyebrows shooting up as if he doesn’t literally have Dan’s patient records on file on the screen next to him. He purses his lips, considering the new information as he takes his gloves off and tosses them into the waste bin. Everything he does is so hot for no reason. 

His white lab coat and black scrubs are honestly a monochromatic fashion statement with his black hair and pale skin. Dan’s eyes trail down his legs until he sees two colorful mismatched socks peeking past the pant legs. It makes him smile, but Dr. Lester doesn’t seem to notice. 

“You look young for your age. Good, I mean. I wouldn’t have guessed you were past twenty-three.” 

Dan might be imagining things, but Dr. Lester’s cheeks seem a bit pinker than before. He kicks his feet back and forth as they dangle off the tall examination chair. 

“How old are you, then?” 

“Thirty-three.” 

“You’re shitting me. You look good, too. For your age, of course.” 

He’s just fucking around with the guy at this point, but he isn’t being escorted out of the building yet so he’s sure it’s fine. If Dr. Lester desperately needed to get to the next patient, Dan feels like he would have been gently told to fuck off by now. Instead, the dentist is taking a seat in his rolling chair next to Dan like he plans on chatting for a minute. 

“You know, Dr. Llyod is planning on retiring soon. We planned on splitting his regular patients amongst the rest of us. Once he’s gone, you could request to see me instead if you wanted. Unless this has secretly been a harrowing time for you.” 

Dan’s actually a little sad to hear about the retirement of his current dentist, but he pushes it aside once he realizes what Dr. Lester is offering. 

“No, definitely not harrowing. You were lovely, ten out of ten would recommend.” 

“Great! I’ll let Llyod know. And Daniel?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Things get a little hectic this time of year, after Halloween and all that. If you want, I can give you my personal number in case the office phone gets too busy.” 

Dan knows that the grin that immediately takes over his face probably gives away far too much, but he can’t help it. This is the most surreal dentist appointment he’s ever endured, but he needs more Philip Lester in his life. It seems that the feeling might be mutual, behind the clever façade of friendly professionalism. 

“I would love that.”

-

Two weeks have passed since his visit to the dentist. His new filling hasn’t caused him any issues, and he’s back to flossing at least once a day after Lester had suggested it on his way out. He thinks dental hygiene would improve across the country if more dentists were attractive and mildly suggestive. 

Today feels like a day to treat himself though, so he finds himself a nearby café to hang at while he types away on his laptop. His writing dreams have been rekindled recently from bouts of inspiration, and he needs to get the words out before they dance out of his grasp again. 

Soon enough there’s a young woman bringing over a drink to his table, and he accepts it with a quiet thanks. It’s nothing like he would normally order; it’s iced and sugary and full of caramel and espresso. It looks delicious though, and notably Instagram-worthy. He snaps a picture of it, but instead of opening any social media, he taps on the messaging app. 

He finds his newest contact and sends it before he can second-guess himself.

_Dan: i am very sorry for what I’m about to do._

_Phil: ??? Whomst is this I’m sorry? This is Phil_

_Dan: :O omg oops. It’s dan. daniel howell, you drilled my tooth the other day. just wanted to apologize for what im about to consume. it was probably dumb of me to text you_

_Phil: No it’s okay!! I was just confused. That looks really yummy though. I won’t shame you_

_Dan: thank you for your seal of approval. i’ll brush extra good afterwards, promise_

It feels mildly illegal to be talking to his dentist on such a casual level, but Dan is enjoying himself, so. Fuck it. If he embarrasses himself too much he can just move to a different city, change his name, and get a new dentist. Life is too short not to get the sugary drink, write a bad book, or flirt with medical professionals. That feels like his motto this month. 

_Phil: Where did that come from actually? It looks right up my alley_

_Dan: i can send you the address! i love this place. i’ll actually be here for most of today if you’re not busy?_

_Phil: Before I make this weird, do you mean in a date way? I’m very clueless and my gaydar is dysfunctional at best..._

The ellipses at the end is threatening, but Dan brushes it off as an older person tendency. He wants to make fun of Phil for texting like a Facebook boomer, but he doesn’t know if they’ve reached that level yet. His head is swimming with the words ‘date’ and ‘gay,’ to the point where he has to remind himself to breathe.

_Dan: if you want. there’s no pressure. but i would like that >.< _

_Phil: I would too, Dan. :D Save me a seat, we can commit crimes against our teeth together. Don’t worry, I know a guy who can fix them._


End file.
